Laugh

So you know that lately I’ve found some funny stuff on the web, well this one really brightened up my day..

 

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four-hour, surgical procedure.A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir!”

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely……

A r e – m y – t e s t s – r e s u l t s – b a c k?”

India

 It is copy and paste. This is about India, though I have never been there. I hope you like it.

A Revisit Of India

I

India is BANANAS!!!! I have to bring you here- I am in one of the most
amazing hotels I’ve ever been in, over looking the Taj Mahal, in Agra,
where I had dinner in a morrocanish palace complete with heated floors
everywhere, while a beautiful woman sat on clothes playing the sitar and
her husband played the tablet. I am waking up at 5 am to see the sun
rise over the Taj Mahal(Sha Jihan built for his favourite wife- and her
tomb, he took 22 years to build it). Today is both Good Friday and Hindu
New year, thus it is a Dry Day (illegal to sale liquor). Every crevice
of this place is filled with meaning and reverence. EVERYONE &
EVERYTHING has a story. Everywhere is a place and oppurtunity to pray
and worship. Dehli has more monuments (1,370) than any place in the
world, second is Rome. Surprisingly everything in Dehli is in English
and once you leave there that is less of the case. They just got freedom
from England last year (this is why Bombay is now Mumbai-it’s original
name). All of the “taxis” (1/2 scooter,1/2 golf cart) have prayers and
om paintings on them- I guess that’s because there isn’t a problem to
pack as many as seven people in them, of course two of those would be
infants. We did see a G Wagon saudered together in 12 places with only
15 people in it and they were very happy. Genesha, Lord Shiva and Lashmi
great you at the opening of EVERY building….the “big business owners”
don’t necessairly wear shoes and greet you with cha (or chai-tea that
is) upon arrival. Ghandi’s adorable face is on all of the money- he says
“it is not what you have lost what counts, it is what you have left that
counts” he is the father of India. The people are incredibly poor-like
nothing you’ve ever witnessed- however the are happy; VERY high morale,
in spite of all else. Kids work VERY hard- making chipatis, or selling
lemons. There is not an expectation that you owe them anything, they are
very appreciative that you have come from so far to meet them and to
make the ordinary extraordinary.

The comradery among men is something
you don’t see at home, they walk down the streets holding hands and
sleep on the grounds closely- and there’s nothing gay about it. They
sleep anywhere and everywhere. A very disturbing sight for our American
eyes that want what we think all should have-prestine living conditions;
they’re not putting all of that on it like that- you need a place to
sleep, period, end of story- so you sleep where you are, whenever it is
needed or convenient and no one bothers you.The top news is that the
top, top actor is in jail for five years for shooting a deer, and people
feel like that is appropriate as animals have rights as well. You have
to also understand that their actor and actress hold the status of gods-
last month one of them went into the hospital for a surgery and all
government buildings closed down to pray for his health (however this
does not mean that justice will not be served should one dare harm an
animal).

Reverence is a word that is used everywhere. They all will say
that they would never live anywhere else in the world. NO MATTER WHAT
the women ALWAYS look stellar in there saris ( the only piece of textile
in the world that was not stitched- they didn’t want needles made of
animal-bone to touch the cloth that would be entering a temple, today
that has changed and needles are now made of metal) However, they have
not managed to workout the shoe situation beneath the sari are usually a
pair of HushPuppyish shoes -they are wrong for not working this out in
5,000 years- I guess shoes are a modern world idea. Everything is brown
and murkey and you have these jewels amongst it all- beauty and
adornment of women are top priority- not neccessary considering there is
a 6:1 ratio men to women. I saw FIVE people on a scooter with the women
riding side saddle, daily with their 2 year old babies smushed amongst
them and not nary a complaint- we really are doing the most with our
SUV’s et.al. The juxtaposition -diversity of classes is that you could
quite easily see a woman in a bedazzled, bejeweled sari washing clothes
in a bucket alongside a goat and a man on a cell phone pulling a human
ricksha.

Today I saw Lord Krishna’s birthplace and there are statues of
him as a baby. I also saw a snake charmer and his cobra (but of course),
a rest stop that you can have a camel ride while you wait. There are
usually elephants, cows, monkeys, goats and 2,000 stray dogs (putting
them to sleep would be far too in humane than just leaving them be) and
all of this is on the “royal” road -a regular old highway. Visually it
is so much to taken in and a lot going on, however there is an
undercurrent of calm and a slower pace, rather relaxed without any
rushing…..with that said I hope I have created a visual for you and
given you something to think about for the day….thank you for
listening….much love!
ad infinitum

CCTVs or Police Patrol

It is now fashionable to speak about CCTVs everywhere, in malls, in busy streets, offices, you name it. Is that all. I frequently visit Taipan in USJ and Sri Muda in Shah Alam. I have not seen any Police patrolling or patrol cars moving around. The absence of Police patrolling, gives you the idea these places are out of bound for Police. Where do I see Police cars, now. In the highway parked near a lorry, bus or vehicles with foreigners, behind some hidden places waiting for for unsuspected motor cyclist or car, and the intentions of these are even known to small children. Police please act.

clipped from thestar.com.my Ghani wants more CCTVs for Johor BaruSEGAMAT: Johor Mentri Besar Datuk Abdul Ghani Othman wants more close-circuit television (CCTV) cameras in the city for detecting and preventing crimes. �And he wants the Johor Baru City Council to install the CCTVs after the police have identified the strategic locations. �“These cameras cannot only prevent crimes but also help detect criminals,” he told reporters while visiting the late Tenggaroh assemblyman Datuk S. Krishnasamy’s house in Bandar Putra here yesterday.� Ghani, who was accompanied by Johor politicians and assemblymen, arrived at the house at 11.30am.� He declined to speculate on the motive for the killing, but stressed that it was an isolated case and the police would have to investigate the case in detail.�

Race & Malaysians

I live, I dream, I eat, I sleep as an Indian. I am reminded that I am an Indian at school,work,business,higher education,promotion,housing,welfare, in fact in aspects of my life.

But, now, when elections come I must think like a Malaysian. Please Najib tell me something else.

clipped from www3.bernama.com January 12, 2008 20:09 PM   M’sians Urged Not To Vote Along Racial Lines   KUALA TERENGGANU, Jan 12 (Bernama) — Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak Saturday urged Malaysians not to vote along racial lines in the upcoming general election to ensure the country continued to remain stable and peaceful. He said racial politics should be avoided because if practised, it could destroy the nation. Consensus building practised by the Alliance and later the Barisan Nasional (BN) coalition needed to be maintained to prevent disunity among the races, he said. “We formed the Alliance and later the BN coalition to avoid voting along communal lines in our country. I think we succeeded (in preserving unity) because BN candidates are voted in each time there is a general election.